I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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