If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
