she was so not down for the gang bang
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
