he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize