This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
