There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
