my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
