She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
