She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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