I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
