Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My penis needs a shock collar
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
