what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize