my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
