i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
