I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
