if you like me you must not know who I am
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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