dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
