she was so not down for the gang bang
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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