If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
