are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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