I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
