We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
