i'm signing you up for texting rehab
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize