let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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