i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize