I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
