sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
