dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
