I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Two words: blizzard sex
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
