At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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