You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
