as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
