dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So squirting runs in the family.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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