I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
