I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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