Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
