omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
