no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
