dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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