Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
