You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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