Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
