i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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