Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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