K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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