I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
