The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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