she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
