But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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