I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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