dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
