Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
