HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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