just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize