and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
