dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So apparently I’m into choking now
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
