We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize