You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
