I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
