your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
it hurts more in the daytime
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just googled if crying burns calories
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
